The PRIZE is the Princess Bike. Katelynn had some problems getting the whole potty-training thing. Oh she knew how and would sometimes use, but for the most part just did not show much interest. Her parents - my daughter is the mother, cajoled, and bribed... but she really did not seem too interested.
Most recently she informed me - Grandma Darleen - that if she went potty and could wear her big girl panties without any accidents, she would get the pink princess bike she wanted. I asked her if she was going to do that. "Oh yes", she said, but when asked if she wanted to try that day, "Ah no.", she said as she guzzled a very large glass of milk.
However, Katelynn turned 3 this week, and her parents surprised her with the Princess bike. She was delighted, of course. This being what she really, really wanted. After all she is a real princess. As you can clearly see in this photo, at one of her Royal Celebrations.
BUT. Surprise of all to her mommy, has been that she is using the potty and wearing her big girl panties. No problem at all. She got the Prize!! So .. either it is coincidence that all just 'clicked', or she is a very shrewd little girl,. She got the prize and now will deliver. hmm... there is some sense to this.
How many times have you wanted to reach a goal, and set a Prize if you obtained?
If I lose 20 lbs , I will get to buy that beautiful dress in size 8.
If I quit smoking, I can get a new car.
If I work hard and get the promotion, I will buy a motorcycle.
My feet are driving me crazy!! The pain wakes me up, is a constant thought tugging at me - PAIN, PAIN, THROB, THROB...
Darleen has Fibromyalgia and was diagnosed in 1999, after 13 years of increasing crisis attacks, after possible stimulation of twin pregnancy. There have been good and bad successes with different therapies, medications and exercise routines. Most recently I have been feeling somewhat better, and can only attest this to fact that I am unemployed. I have no stress at the moment, or less due to being able to sleep more at times that I can sleep, rather than having to be on a schedule. Also the wonderful warm summer is a friend to my body, and I have been enjoying.
Like many chronic syndromes and disease states, Fibromyalgia can be very difficult to have a 'happy' life. When the chronic situation causes pain, there are some days that it is easier to just hide away.
Finding happiness certainly can still be found with chronic pain, as with other diseases and situations we find ourselves in. However it would be so much easier to be happy, without the pain
Ice helps for very brief time. There is not enough ice this week.
I have found that any pain relief medication is best not to take, due to fact that side effects disable me or cause other issues. I could list all the medications that I have tried over the years, but are all consistent with Fibromyalgia treatments. If anything is new out there, I will find it.
INTERNET & SOCIAL MEDIA - #fibro #fibromyalgia #fbs #fms
I have found several new websites, and blogs available. Today, while invetigating Twitter and other social media tools - DIGG, Facebook, LinkedIN, Meetup
Interesting outcome was that I found new blogs and sites, as well as a new book through Twitter search only. I am now following a few that I selected and have been in conversation with other Fibro -- I hesitate to say sufferers, as all are determined to be positive. A common theme has been to work with others to spread awareness and find ways to lessen the symptoms. Obviously, it also helps to be able to talk to others in same predicament. It is very common for many to not believe Fibromyalgia is real, as we look fine, as there are no outwardly signs. Family may even accuse us of being grumpy, lazy and not the same person. Pain can do that to you, sometimes without even realizing. We think we are being cheerful, as it is an effort at times - BUT, the pain has a way of coming forward.
I am encouraged that I have found some usefulness for Twitter!! More discussion regarding Twitter and my Social Media findings can be found at Social Tweep .
Be Happy Anyway!
Many people have found this statement to help them smile each day in spite of health issues or other situations less than ideal.
It is worth trying.
FIND THE SILVER LINING
- is there something valuable, useful or good that can come out of being subjected to this?
1) It allows me to develop COMPASSION.
2) Finding solution allows me to really get to know and understand myself.
3) I am meeting people that I would never have met without.
4) Common amongst other Fibro-pals - my sense of humour is intensified as is mandatory!!
Darleen is busy updating blogs, and due to K being on vacation, also RENOVATION MODE.
This has caused us to be in a LIMBO STATE ...
We are progressing with our Happiness Project and seeing some progress in our desire to change our bodies. It is not a fast progression outwardly - but we are feeling happier most days. We understand how we can control what we want out of life an also reprogram our minds.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO RACHEL - DARLEEN'S DAUGHTER - 26!! HOO HA!!
LOVE THE SHOES -- WHEN CAN I BORROW THEM?
WE DON'T EVEN KNOW OURSELVES...
There are still some challenges - which we would like to say at our age, our different than those of you in your 20s, 30s and even 40s. We are looking at the remainder of our lives after our children years and looking forward to a different lifestyle. We are not sure what we want to do yet - when we grow up.
We are different people, and some days do not even recognize ourselves - so no surprise our husbands are not sure what is going on. It is similar to puberty with loss of hormones and loss of memory at times. And NO Bon Bons ! Of course we still treat ourselves, and then drink 5 gallons of water, and walk and do yoga and meditate, and, and ....
Let us enjoy the summer at a slower pace, and slowly we shall migrate into a routine that is better for us, and allows us to achieve our Happiness state. We shall then organize, and evaluate and get BUSY.
Right now we are doing the LIMBO ... everyone join in!
So, we achieve our goal - reaching the mountain top, and feel not happiness but letdown. Why?
Are we hopeless? Nothing will make us happy?
You know what I am referring to - acing an exam, finishing a novel, getting the job that we upgraded our skills to achieve - getting any job for that matter, getting married, having children (there is no return - I did check), etc, etc. It has been said that - "life is always greener on the other side", so if we are single, we often feel that if married we would be happier, but when become married, feel that being single is where it is at (baby). Partly this may be certain those of us, forget or have not managed to enjoy the moments. Enjoy the NOW. Be Grateful. uhuh ...
"There's a lot of joy, but you also get this feeling of letdown under the happy, like when you've had the last slice of cake and the last cookie. It was good, but you realize it's never going to happen again."
"People build up for things, and the body reacts," says Dr. Don Hafer, a neuropsychologist at Presbyterian Hospital of Dallas. "We call it a fight-or-flight response. It can be a positive stress, like getting ready for a vacation, getting ready for a wedding, getting ready for finals, waiting online at midnight to buy Harry Potter. You're putting all this energy and effort into it, then, right after the event, any medical conditions you might have, such as migraines, will be exacerbated."
'What am I supposed to do next?' feelings.
"Dr. Keith Ablow, a Boston psychiatrist and author of Living the Truth : Transform Your Life Through the Power of Insight and Honesty (Little Brown, $26), advises a twofold strategy for dealing with these common feelings.
First, he distinguishes between short-term and long-term goals.
"If your goal is to win a tennis match, expand it into a longer goal of perfecting your game. If your goal is to make a million dollars, think about the pages that come next in your story, or you'll have a sense of being lost."
Next, he urges people to slow down and ask themselves whether they are rushing from one short-term goal to another as a way of avoiding other pressing emotional needs. "
Ok - sounds easy. Simple.
Enjoy your success - enjoying the moment of NOW
If you are 'grass is always greener' person - pick a side and stick with it.
Plan for your NEXT goals to avoid letdown feelings.
The grass is always greener! But choose a side, enjoy the present and stick to your choice - this will bring you a feeling of content and happiness, rather than constantly wanting to upgrade or change for the 'other side of fence is actually better syndrome'. Obviously there are some situations that are bad decisions. Fix those. But getting married to a wonderful person was your dream, and even when he annoys you, and the Old Spice Guy looks a whole lot better - really you must realize you are in the right place. And your guy can smell like the Old Spice Guy.
We can only change our own outlook. Would it not be nice if we could make others happy? We can guide them and encourage, but for the most part we are all responsible for our own HAPPY state.
Simple - so why is it so difficult to attain? Possibly we spend too much time seeking happiness and not enjoying what we have.
HAPPINESS IS SIMPLE - get it?
I have had a few weeks of wonderfulness!! I can always add more joy and never be full, but I have had been having fun and feeling HAPPY. Not working helps with this feeling - however that could change when money runs out. New car, trips, spending time with special people most of all has brought me to this feeling of - YES I am Happy. I am not pleased with my physical appearance at the moment, due to being unsuccessful with weight loss and some other goals - BUT, I am content and know that will come as I allow. And as Jan says, avoiding mirrors at this point helps - a lot!
I was reminded of how simple being happy can be today, while spending a couple of hours with my granddaughter Katelynn (almost 3) and Harvey (18 months). How getting back to basics and down on the floor and playing can be the best stress reliever. PLAY!!
What do you mean they are upside down?
Children don't read Self Help Books
The newness of life and being loved is enough - of course all their needs are met and they are safe. They are still innocent, and have not yet uncovered all the complexities of life and they do not know otherwise. Spending time with young children and becoming like them in play can bring back this innocent Happiness.
Of course then we remember we have bills to pay, and have not yet achieved all the goals we set out TO DO - today, let alone our life. Oh, I am unemployed so that should do in my happiness as well.
This question was answered in a new psychology study that showed life experiences rather than material possessions led to greater happiness. In fact, the experiential basis of happiness can be seen in two other corollaries — gratitude or the ability to live in the moment and a sense of spirituality." ....
"Experiences also provide challenges and personal meaning. Accomplishing a goal such as running a marathon or writing a book provides meaning within the context of life lived. Possessions are merely things and do not generate the same sense of personal challenge and significance.
What meaning, for example, can one have about a new roof or a new car? Material things, according to psychology professor Leaf Van Boven, are separate from humans and cannot provide the same meaningful contexts as personal experiences."
This last statement, I must disagree and agree. For myself my new car is an accomplishment, and is a sharing experience. Any car would not provide the level of 'well-being' and warm fuzzies of happiness - BUT this car does. Obtaining possessions may be due to achieving goals, and therefore be entangled in the overall feeling of happiness.
The other point mentioned is Gratitude - or the ability to live in the moment. Simple again and like the innocence of children. Maybe getting back to basics and imitating young children - in the moment, pleasure of the world we can capture our own.
Of course there is all the 'junk' needed to reprogram our minds, but it's a start.
At least that is what Jan and I came to a realization of when trying to sort out the treatments for aging, menopause, hair loss, arthritis etc. There is such as thing as Mexican Wild Yam - that can be used for treatments. So .. we figured that Mexicans don't have the problems we have in North America. Is it the YAMS? NO!! We are convinced it is the Tequila.
Life can be confusing enough, but as we age we are informed that we should take this medication, or supplement - and in the end we notice no difference. We push ourselves to be the best, be positive and stop thinking bad things. BUT - we sometimes just want to throw in the towel and do it our way.
Tequila for breakfast. Tequila for lunch. Tequila for dinner and beyond.
We would be happy. Sleep would not be a problem. The bathroom would be cleaned more often.
Hot flashes? A thing of the past in our relaxed state.
Self esteem? We love everyone including ourselves!
Now this is a joke, in order to alleviate our endless quest to find the answer.
Some days it is healthier to joke about and just enjoy the day. And have a Margarita!!
...darleen & jan
NOTE: Mexican Yam Extract It is highly suggested that if you would like to try Wild Mexican Yam extract as a form of natural progesterone, you should be under the care and recommendations of a medical doctor or a natural health care provider who has a relationship with your medical doctor or who can develop one.
1 TPSP instant coffee granules
2 TBSP chocolate syrup
1 TBSP (or a tad more) caramel syrup (this can be found with apples in fruit aisle)
1 1/2 cups milk
1 cup ice
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 cup vanilla ice cream
Combine all ingredients in the blender, set on high and blend for about 30 seconds to one minute. Serve in tall glass and top with whipped cream and chocolate shavings if desired.
Use espresso granules or TBSP espresso
I didn't have any caramel syrup (hate that yesterday- straight from the jar) so used Creamy Caramel Butterscotch ice cream.
Oh .... and I added a splash of Baileys Irish Cream - well large glug actually.
mmmmmmm.... yum. I drank mine before I remembered to take a photo - so photo is from Cat Can Cook.
I believe she would drive to Starbucks and buy one - but I will need to verify that :)
As you said I would definitely go to Starbucks but in a pinch I would forget the caramel as not a big fan, stick with instant coffee granules and DEFINITELY go for the Baileys :) Jan
Exercise in Golden years
The Importance of Walking
Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old
to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $7000 per month.
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing..
I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.
Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say, 'Well, she looks good doesn't she.' If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country. I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years,...... just getting over the hill.
We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I look just fine.
You could run this over to your friends
But just e-mail it to them -or share on Facebook
If you don't forward
this to 1 of your friends within
the next 5 minutes your belly
button will unscrew and your
butt will fall off.
Really.... It's true
And Women's Health "Well, it's not a term you'll find in many medical text books, but it has become a useful phrase for identifying and encapsulating the feelings of sadness and loss that many parents experience when their children no longer live with them, or need day-to-day care. Mothers are particularly affected.
It is quite normal for parents to feel some sadness at this time. It is quite normal to have a little weep now and again - and it is even normal to go into the absent child's bedroom and sit there for a bit in an attempt to feel closer to him or her."
We were in fits of laughter, almost rolling on the floor – ‘A little weep ? .. We don’t think so!
I asked my husband if he was going to be sad with us being on our own –
The smirk he gave me and dreamy look could only mean … no, he was thinking of something altogether different than depression – His eyes glazed over , AND A SONG ERUPTED FROM HIM -->> Brand New Girlfriend!! by Steve Holy
I got a brand new girlfriend.
We went and jumped off the deep end,
Flew out to LA for the weekend,
Spent the whole day, lyin' on the beach,
Wearin' nothin' but a smile,
Playin' kissy-kissy, smoochy-smoochy,
Talkin' mooshy-mooshy bout nothin'.
Man, i think im on to somethin',
Because i feel just like a kid again.
I got a brand new girlfriend,
‘Why would anyone struggle with the empty nest syndrome?’ Heck we could hardly wait. Get them out and on their own. Isn’t that the goal after all? Raise them to be independent and able to go out into the world?
My husband and I, between the 2 of us have a total of 5 girls – all young adults now. Count then – 2 23 / 2 20 twins and 1 19 about to start university. PMS is an understatement, although we never had all 5 living with us under one roof at the same time. ‘One in five will be sane’ my husband likes to say – and is not always the same one, but usually only one at a time!!
Life was rarely boring throughout their teen years, as someone was always crying due to a boy, awful hair, weight gain, weight loss, and many other reasons including the moon was in the wrong part of the sky. As a woman, and mother, I could easily (well for the most part) ignore their dramas, as knew it was mostly emotional and would pass in time, if not within 5 minutes - especially if a boy called!
Cooking for them was hopeless, as what they just had to have yesterday would suddenly become disgusting today, or they were now… vegan! A stocked fridge and turning a blind eye to kitchen cleanup was essential for household calmness. A lock was installed on our bedroom door and my husband began hiding things, magazines, razor blades, special soaps and beauty products, in the locked room – along with alcohol, favorite foods, snacks and movies. This eliminated the fighting, and denying of ‘who took my almonds?’ or ‘how could she have eaten the entire box in one sitting?’ I did think at one time that there was more in the locked bedroom than elsewhere, and did we need to install a fridge in the bedroom? And then it suddenly it was no longer required. They did not stop eating; they just were not there.
At the first instance of no children coming home, we were delighted. It was quiet as constant rap-crap no longer played or television blared. Peace. And we enjoyed it.
But. They came back. First it was just one that needed a place to stay temporarily while her and the boyfriend were rearranging their life. We had to find a place for her to bed down, as since we finally had the house to ourselves we had started to renovate, and had the bedrooms in disarray. One evening we went out, and came home to be confronted with the fact that another sister was on her way, as she had broken up with her fiancé. Ok, so now we had 2 daughters at home, and one boyfriend that would arrive for a short time as well for a 2-month stay. There was a lot of emotional and other support required for the daughter that was going through the relationship breakup. I jumped back into being mom and needed with all 4 feet! Surprisingly, I realized l liked them being home, and that I was in no hurry to see them go – but of course this time they were in a hurry!
I am glad to report that they did leave within 2 months, and are leading responsible lives and enjoying life in their own apartments. I miss them more then I ever thought possible this second time around. I now understand the other parent’s woes and that Empty Nest Syndrome is more like an empty heart. I felt needed as a mom again; I could talk to them without getting frustrated or telling them what to do, but had real conversations. I was able to share in their lives again and even give advice that was at least listened to, even though I know they will still do things their way. We cooked together, watched favorite movies together, had ice cream at midnight and borrowed each others clothes!
And then it was over.
They moved into their new apartments and with us being required to help with the first grocery shopping and move in – they were gone. The house was quiet. We were once again alone. During the day while my husband went off to work, I was very alone. The house was too quiet. I admit to even having a little weep now and again. UGH!
But there is joy again; as yet another daughter came home the week after her sisters moved out to announce that she was 1) pregnant and 2) getting married ASAP! As this news washed over me, or more like a bucket of water was dumped on me…I thought …a baby is a wonderful, and a wedding needed planning. Mom was very much needed again!
We got her married with me as the mother of the bride and also I was the wedding planner. Now we are moving into the baby is coming phase – making me - grandma! Due to circumstances she is with us for part of this time, so we get to enjoy her again, and also share in her pregnancy. I am enjoying this so much more after realizing how special this is to be able to share with her, and have her with us for a little bit longer.
The baby will be the start of a whole new generation to enjoy, and watch grow up.
And this time, I will enjoy so much more, as I appreciate that this is my second chance to do just that!
Empty Nest Syndrome? – Not us! - as our nest is never empty for long.
Oh … and they say the baby is … a Girl …. Katelynn
We finally did get our first BOY ..... 18 months later - Harvey!!
And for Cathie and Jan that will not have grandkids to fill the void - I do feel your pain. My grandkids are amazing, and becoming a 'Grandma' is the most wonderful experience. BUT - I still miss my girls, and being a mom. As well this Empty Nest happens at a time in our lives, that we really, really desire to feel loved and surrounded by those special to us - maybe to get even? We are going through changes within ourselves and somedays are not sure who we are any longer. BUT .. again remember
- Rule # 6 and a new one. Darleen's Rule # 7 - YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!
... seek out those that you have not had time for, and discover YOU.
AND - Congratulate Yourself!
Although the job of being a parent is forever, you have reached a goal. You have raised an independent young adult! Give yourself a pat on the back for a job well done.
YES, this was the goal - Jan, not to have babies forever :)
YOU did good.
Of course still - it is quite normal to have a little weep now and again.
And you can always call me 24 x7!!
NOW FOR the MEN.... welcome your wife in her new state. YOU - GOT A BRAND NEW GIRLFRIEND
Formerly HOT ... or at least un-young
Being at the beach this weekend reminded me that I am no longer HOT
.. or that at least age is possibly catching up with me.
AND as noted on the BLOG
- Formerly Hot -
"sudden realization that I was no longer who I'd always been - a pretty girl who navigated the world partially aided by the advantage of her looks. After 30 some odd years, Spanx had found their way into my lingerie drawer, and men who asked me if I "had the time” really just wanted to know the time. Imagine!"
Stephanie Dolgoff, discusses many aspects of the what she calls the tweens, appearance and other realities of life as women growing older. I am past that, and to the point of being what is referred to as 'middle-age' - I suppose. So that means I will live until 110, if I am at the mid-point.
And it is sad that we do still put so much emphasis on physical beauty - or outside appearances. I suppose. I am reminded of the articles including photos, of how we as women age - this is just the head-shots. The full effects to entire body is not pretty - or at least I was not impressed. Certainly we can fight against some of these effects, and leading a healthy lifestyle will ensure we look as good as we feel - usually. But we still age - and to be blunt - WE GET OLD. Of course the benefit is that it is much better than the alternative - we are alive and kicking still.
faces of aging woman
How do we accept or adjust? There are a variety of changes as we age that we can minimize effects or eliminate - but our physical appearance can only we 'uplifted' so much ... until our bodies do naturally age, with wrinkles and weight gain, and well shifting of 'stuff' to places we are not used to 'stuff' being.
So... how do we accept our changing physical bodies? OR more exactly still feel attractive and even sexy?
SIMPLE - definitely the packaging does change as we age - BUT the Attitude is how to still achieve feeling SEXY and viewed as attractive by others.
So let's control what we can, make peace with that we cannot, and start having some fun embracing our age, wisdom, sassiness and power! Attitude. After all we really do not really want to go back to being those people we were, when our packaging was more attractive on the outside. Well, okay we do - but just for a weekend!
I involved Jan on this question - as how she deals with the physical changes to her body as she attempts to get as old as me. She feels her body after birthing and mothering 5 children is her 'mommy body'. So is well worth any changes, due to all that it has done and definitely changed along the way, but she has 5 beautiful children. She has the same husband that she started out with, and fathered all these children - and he still finds her attractive - and thus she most of the time still feels attractive.
However - as far as attitude and feeling attractive internally -
" Well I have a vivid imagination and that sometimes helps also.
Can imagine a lot in my head as long as I don't look too much in the mirror :) "
Uhuh .. as I thought - MUST HONE GOOD SENSE OF HUMOUR!!
As this video demonstrates and is silly as well.
Appreciate what we have, the NOW and add laughing at ourselves and ATTITUDE.
RULE NUMBER 6: Don't take yourself so goddamn seriously! - LIGHTEN UP!!
Sorry ..but cannot wipe the smile off my face :) .... I have waited a looooooong time for this car.
Yes, it is just a car - BUT, it is my dream car and so SWEET to drive. Heck, it is even sweet to just sit and look at.
Cannot wait to take Jan for a spin in the REDVIXEN.
I am off to ride again ... will post more later about life and allowing happiness and being our best selves.