Tuesday, May 4, 2010

DAY 68 - Where is Ralphie?

I have the pearls, where are my bon bons?

You may recall, that when Jan and Darleen started this journey we discussed how we 'expected' to come to this point of our lives and be rewarded. We did all the duties, bought the pearls even
- now where are our bon bons, and forever beautiful and thin?

June Cleaver from Leave it to Beaver was our role model. She was always perfectly coiffed at all times, always the smile (which we interpreted as HAPPY), and of course the pearls.
Wikipedia notes that June Cleaver was a fictional character, had a perfect marriage, was dedicated to her family.

June is dedicated to her family; her interests outside the home are social events like weddings or school events like meetings and plays. She has ladylike pastimes: needlepoint, cake decorating, and arranging tea roses. She reads glossy but high-toned, tasteful women's magazines. When the boys arrive home from school, June can be found in the kitchen chopping salad vegetables, basting a roast, or icing a cake. Her kitchen is immaculate. Like most TV middle class sitcom families of the era, the Cleavers breakfast and lunch in the kitchen while their dinners are full scale affairs in the dining room.  She is happily married with never a suggestion otherwise on the show

Of course we had no draft to follow for her mid-life or aging as the show stopped. No episodes of June having hot-flashes or yelling like a psycho mad woman, or gaining weight.  

We somehow assumed we would get a reward. But again we have no clear image of what we would look or be like over 50.

Eating bon bons - and lounging by the pool (or in the pool) .- age 40 maybe? 
After a hard day at work.

So .. what happened to us? hmm .. well for one thing we did have careers. We had it all, as we were the women that were 'allowed' to work full-time outside the home and have a family. We were the LIBERATED women.  Wow!! Lucky us, we worked full-time - Jan as a nurse, and Darleen as a Lab Tech, working shift work, doing the housework, birthing children, and taking care of the husband 24/7 every day of the year. BUT .. we held on to the belief we would be rewarded for our dedication to NOT just our families, but also our careers. We smiled a lot, told our friends how rewarding our lives were, and how lucky we were to be able to have it all! We were the epitome of 'Super Mom'. We had so much more than our mothers were allowed to have. uhuh...

So... fast forward through Darleen's relationship woes, job  changes due to  layoffs, and Jan's adapting to suddenly having 5 children, a stint through cancer treatment for the 4th child while pregant with the 5th, several moves and distanced from her family - and we hit 50 years of age. Jan was able to retire, Darleen still working but children left home and 2 grandchildren added. Where is the prize? Where are the bon bons? We have the string of pearls - well buried somewhere, maybe under the many stacks of 'stuff' on our dresser or maybe in the jewelery box?

BUT ,..  we are .... just so tired, and looking in the mirror -

   Credit: nopolymon.blogspot.com 

Recent Text Between darleen & jan :

jan: Looked in the mirror and am actually quite disgusted with myself - at the person there. Looking back at me was this old fat gal with blank eyes, double chin, poor skin (covers her  whole body).

jan: I was shocked - wondering who she is?
darleen: ahh yes And what do I do with my f**king hair?

jan: oh do tell!! And yes my hair is yucky also.
darleen: I used to have bubblebaths - why did I stop?

jan: I just don't take care of myself the way I used to.

darleen: We need to get back to who we used to be.

jan: Except we cannot go back

darleen: BUT we can reclaim. As we are still the same people we were - when happy and thin.

jan: Reclaim?  who? what?

darleen: The girls we once were.

jan: I think somewhere inside, I'm the same also, just buried under a lot of other stuff?

darleen: Yes that is it!! We have to find Ralphie. Ralphie will be our guide.

jan: So I guess I have to start digging to uncover the real me again.

darleen: Life was always an adventure for Ralphie.

jan: I wonder when life stopped being and adventure and became a chore?

darleen: Somewhere along the line we bought into getting old means being unattractive and sad.
darleen: We allowed life to be a chore as bought into being 50  meant we were old and has-beens.


So who is Ralphie?
Tomorrow we shall divulge and explain how we are throwing away the hypnosis and other gurus and coaches books, instructions to live by and How to get thin in 30 days!! Surely, we shall use some of the information we have been soaking up - BUT we are now setting the rules. This is will be our way. The over 50 way. And Raphie will be our guide. Yes it will be like Find Waldo with a twist (of lime maybe) - Ralphie is hiding in plain sight.

What does Ralphie look like?
Well .. Ralphie is a girl and changes constantly for the occasion.
Tonight  this is Ralphie - completely beautiful, sexy and magical!

 Let  the  Games  Begin -- The Find Ralphie Project!!
 -- and our thin selves will follow
...darleen & jan



  1. life is the journey, not a destination! We can look at this as the beginning of the end -- or the ending of the beginning. How old are we???? I think old enough to say I want what I want ... and then say thank you.

  2. From My Mom - e like my grandparents (well not totally) in 1900 the life expectancy was 50 but in 1903 my mother was born no wonder their oldest daughter of 18 was disgusted that another baby was on the way so my Grandmother said OK I will tell everybody it is your baby !!! That was sort of like Sarah in the bible having a baby at 90 it must have been if life expectancy was only 50 and there they were with a new baby. At 50 if you were still alive you were to sit by the fire and read or spin or ???? You have come a long way baby as the cigarete ad used to say Mom