No Bon Bons Girls: DAY 88 - Living Consciously or Suvival of the UNfittest

We have been busy flying across the country
... and Darleen had words swirling in midair.

Jan was in Ontario! Yeah!
It was not all fun and games trip, but due to a family member being ill - and well family support. Being a nurse she was in her element, but more difficult when family. A good time for Darleen and Jan to get in some visiting time, and save our thumbs from texting. We actually could write and edit the blog ideas at the same time. WOW!!

Darleen also was in New Brunswick for a week leading up to and overlapping with Jan's arrival in Ontario. It was work related trip and very tiring.

And then there was the MAY 2-4 Long Weekend - the weekend that celebrates the beginning of summer. It usually rains. Jan and I can tell you stories about the May 24th long weekends of our youth, and on the boat on Lake Erie, and camping ... and rain. BUT .. this year it was more sun than rain, and ended on a pleasantly fulfilled happy note. Darleen managed to get in some time with the Wonderful Women cousins event, with good discussions, drinks, sun and yummy food. Finally Jan returned home to the arms of her waiting family, while Darleen was able to go for a motorcycle ride with Ken and friend M.

AND... Darleen's current paying job is coming to an end this Friday - becoming one of the unemployed.

So ... with all this action, excitement, crises, and heated moments - have we been able to achieve our first laid plans for the Happiness Project? Have we found Ralphie?

UPDATE - FIND RALPHIE HAPPINESS PROJECT

A> Sweat the Small Stuff

- yes we have found that paying attention to the little things does make a difference.

- more to come later this week

Get 7 - 8 hours of sleep >> YES most night we have done!
Get dressed in comfortable clothing >> YES
Go for 15 minute walk >> ahh Not so good at this one
Eat healthy and stop when full >> most of the time except the licorice
Spend time on cleanliness and appearance >> yes we have put in more effort
Take scheduled breaks >> yes
Drink 8 glasses of water >> hmmm.. well we tried
Find one thing that will improve MOMENTUM level
-->Darleen is working on decluttering >>> did a lot of thinking and discussed
Count Our Blessings >>yes even though with gritted teeth some days
Go the Extra Inch >> we did try, deep breathing helps with this
Set An Example >> well again we did try
Appreciate Ourselves >> well we did, with some coaching
Visualize Perfect Self >> ahh difficult but started
Find Solutions >> YES, this is one we love, rather than wallow find a solution
bird by bird, inch by inch >> yes one step at a time

It was not exactly difficult, BUT we did have to consciously think about our actions, and how reacting and how taking care of OURSELVES.

WHERE IS RALPHIE?

Ahh.. well entering into our Find Ralphie Happiness Project – or possibly more like Why did we kill our Ralphie? - we have realized how we ignored simple conscious living. Survival has eliminated the starry eyed goals we had in our youth – getting from one day to the next replaced the long term goals. Unconscious habits replaced our brain cells. We have gone through the motions of daily life without consciously thinking of what we are doing, or if are the correct actions often. Happiness? Well that was to come with the Bon Bons and the reward at reaching age 50 in one piece.

Yes survival has been our theme most our lives. Concentrating on getting through one crisis and onto the next. There has not been a lot of moments to truly enjoy our accomplishments or stop and smell the roses. We have been too busy dodging the thorns, and resting in between episodes. Survival is not like the Reality shows in real life – we never were voted off the island. We often wanted to escape the island, and as much as Darleen did try, the problems either followed or were just different problems. We were reaching for the GOLD RING , The Finish Line. All growed up, kids growed up, and reaching the age of 50 was to bring the age or relaxation and HAPPINESS EVERLASTING STATE.

BUT … yes there is that BUT ... again … we were awarded with menopause and discovered that although the children were ‘all growed up’ (except for Jan’s youngest) they needed support more than ever, and now the parents are requiring our care as well. Does it never end? Seems not! Again we realize there are NO BON BONS and Everlasting happiness, but more Survival. Our bodies are no longer the fittest, but rebelling and becoming the UNfittest. When do we catch a break?

Guess what? There is no reward, other than to realize that we now have to deal with our bodies, mind and souls. Standing in front of our mirrors we realize that our survival mode has also been Neglect Ourselves mode. The first reaction is to reach for a glass of wine to provide courage, and a bag of chocolate or chips (bon bons) for comfort …. and well don’t we deserve it? Ugh..

We deserve more!! And this is just the beginning of our Over 50 adventure to find what we want now that we are ALL GROWED UP!!

DID we find Ralphie these past 2 weeks? Yes there were delightful glimpses and moments, that telling stories of times past did manage to invoke. Or maybe the bottle wine, that Jan finally was able to stay awake and enjoy to the very last DROP!

Our Next step to add for the coming week
- Living Consciously

Which our simplistic interpretation is to follow simply to - THINK BEFORE.

THINK BEFORE we ... eat, speak, react, jump to anger or conclusions, action.. as a few examples.

Which leads to a very important CONSCIOUS LIVING action that Darleen must undertake.

Which is STOP SMOKING. This became evident through a short exercise of tracking each cigarette smoked with a new Blackberry Application. And yes I have quit before, and been somewhat successful before - but it didn't stick or stay quit.

My Happiness Project will require to be able to finally accomplish

this and live consciously smoke free.

This photo may help ....