Wednesday, May 5, 2010


 Happiness Project? 
What is this all about Ralphie? 

The Find Ralphie Happiness Project -  officially announcing we are beginning.

After 69 days, many investigations and trials with theories, diets, self hypnosis and other self help books destined to make us thin, and propel us through menopause 
- we had an epiphany (cool word huh?).
This came after our journey the past few months, and Darleen & Jan discussing in between our ideas on how to lose weight - about lack of happiness. Both have struggled with some depression over the years, but this is different - a sadness that weighed heavily on us. We blamed this on many external reasons - children, husbands, weather, extra weight gain, growing old - well you get the idea, everything and anything. 

One day however, Jan texted in response to Darleen's question "Do you know why you are sad?"-
"Not really, just wish I could shake it, as there is no excuse for it, my life is good." And, of course when we decide there is no reason for our feelings of sadness, we feel guilty and thus making ourselves even more miserable. 

Darleen, in attempt to help her friend feel better asked " What makes you happy?"
Jan answered: " Well most is centered around family." And some events unfolded in the days following days, that provided Jan with a very 'happy' week - her daughters spent time with her, and another day she spent time with the entire gang, and the highlight came from her first born son - "Adam took me to lunch! It made my Day!!" And not just once, but Darleen received this message 3 times with :) and lots of !!!!

hmmm ... It was obvious that when Jan was feeling happy, she also was more productive, ate better and didn't dwell as much on the weight she would like to lose. hmmm... How do we keep this going? And maybe, just maybe we are looking at this weight loss as the secret to our becoming happy - well backwards, or upside down?

          Stepdaughter Rebecca looking at life from different angle

Several  thoughts and texts back and forth,  and pieces started to come together, and the fact that the issue is not the weight. Although if we were to wake up tomorrow morning, with bodies as thin and nubile as our ex 20 year old selves we would be ecstatic - well at least until we realized we had no clothes to wear!

Darleen was reminded of  how utterly completely cheerful Jan always was in her youth, and has always been her signature personality trait. When thinking of Jan, it is always with her smiling, laughing and being extremely energized.  That is who she is, and it has always rubbed off on others around her, to be more energetic and happy. So we can be happy, and when happy we accomplished much more and didn't have to think about dieting or exercise, it all just happened.

And then ...  another booked crossed Darleen's path 
(when googling Happiness) 

- The Happiness Project   by Gretchen Rubin 
  who also had an epiphany.

-  whose new book, The Happiness Project, is an account of the year she spent test-driving studies and theories about how to be happier. On this blog, she shares her insights to help you create your own happiness project.

Upon Reading excerpts on the Happiness Project Blog, well you know what happened. The same as whenever Darleen finds the perfect book, with the perfect advice and perfect solutions. She bought the book. Had to drive to Chapters before it closed and barely made it before 10 pm. And sent urgent text to Jan, to look for book for her Sony eReader. Jan  got it!

OK, but what about Ralphie?



 Ralphie is the 'happiness' of who we were, and lights the way for us to get back to our true selves. Ralphie was Darleen's nickname back in 1976, created due to  one haircut that was very, very short. The nickname stuck. The hair grew back. Jan has always still called Darleen by this endearing nickname, less over the years, but still does slip back to,  particularly when together in person and in a 'happy' state.  Some might call it their MOJO - we call it Ralphie.

It suddenly all made sense - we need to Find Ralphie, and weight loss and other solutions will follow.
We have been concentrating on the weight loss being the solution to make us happy. BUT, it is actually the happiness that we should be focusing on. Badda BING!!  Epiphany moment.

The idea of a Find Ralphie Project came before 'getting into' 
The Happiness Project book  .. ooh la la..
It is exactly the final guide we need in our journey to find what 'we really need' and find our happiness.

So .. First Things First

Well maybe not exactly in correct order but due to fact that I am already falling behind in the #1 TASK to get our project started  here is our plan for week 1.


1. Go to sleep earlier.
2. Exercise - start slow.
3. Act more energetic - 'Fake it until you make it.

We are throwing away the CD for now - it agitated Darleen, and we just didn't find it was the answer to our prayers - for magic weight loss. We are using several of the advice and ideas in the whole series of books and blogs that we have read in the past 69 days, PLUS from Darleen's extensive library.


We do have some work to do to create the Rules or Commandments  & Secrets of Adulthood - specific for us and our success in FINDING RALPHIE
... and we shall report our experiences over the next 6 months of so - 

...darleen & jan


1 comment:

  1. just as in the movie "A Christmas Story", with Ralphie the kid who wants a beebee gun?